Finding out your child has stolen something can be very upsetting for parents. 

One of the families we worked with shared a story that many parents will immediately relate to. They were leaving Walmart when they discovered that their son had slipped a packet of football cards into his pocket without paying for them.

Their reaction was a combination of shock, anger, embarrassment, shame, and panic.

Questions started racing through their minds.

Why would he do this?

Doesn’t he know that stealing is wrong?

Is this related to his ADHD?

What does this mean about his future?

And perhaps the most painful question of all: What are we doing wrong that he thought it was okay to steal? 

If you've ever been in a similar situation, you know how overwhelming it can feel. When a child steals, it's easy to jump to worst-case scenarios. Many parents immediately worry that their child is dishonest, developing serious behavior problems, or heading down a dangerous path.

But before we go any further, I want to offer an important reassurance:

Stealing should absolutely be addressed. But stealing does not automatically mean your child is a bad kid.

In fact, for many children with ADHD, behaviors like stealing can be connected to challenges with impulsivity, executive functioning, emotional regulation, and decision-making rather than a lack of character or morals.

That doesn't mean the behavior should be excused. It simply means it's important to understand why it happened so you can respond in a way that actually helps your child learn and grow.

In this article, we'll cover:

• whether ADHD can contribute to stealing behavior
• why stealing can happen at different ages
• the role impulsivity and executive function play
• what to do if your child steals
• mistakes that often make the problem worse
• when to seek additional support

While stealing can be a difficult behavior to navigate, it doesn't have to define your child, and it certainly doesn't mean all hope is lost.

Can ADHD Cause a Child to Steal?

Before we go any further, I want to provide an important caveat: ADHD does not cause a child to steal. However, some of the core symptoms of ADHD can increase the likelihood of impulsive behaviors, including taking something without thinking through the consequences.

Children with ADHD often struggle with impulsivity, poor foresight, difficulty considering consequences in the moment, emotional dysregulation, and dopamine-seeking behaviors. Sometimes the desire for something can outweigh the brain's ability to pause, think, and make a better decision.

This doesn't excuse the behavior, but it can help explain why some children with ADHD are more vulnerable to making impulsive choices that they later regret.

6 Reasons Why Children With ADHD May Steal

Included below are 6 reasons why kids with ADHD sometimes steal or take things that don’t belong to them. 

• Impulse Control Challenges

One of the most common reasons children with ADHD steal is impulsivity.

They see something. They want it. They take it.

For many kids with ADHD, there can be very little pause between the thought and the action. The brain's “stop and think” system simply doesn't activate quickly enough.

This is especially true for younger children, who may know stealing is wrong but struggle to apply that knowledge in the moment.

• The “Now vs. Not Now” Brain

Many children with ADHD struggle to think about future consequences when faced with an immediate reward.

They aren't necessarily thinking, “What will happen if I get caught?” Instead, their brain is focused almost entirely on, “I want this right now.”

Research suggests many children with ADHD are more motivated by immediate rewards than delayed rewards.

This challenge is closely tied to delayed gratification and what many parents recognize as “time blindness.” The immediate reward feels real and important, while the future consequence feels distant and abstract.

As a result, the desire for the item can temporarily overpower their ability to think through what might happen next.

This is one reason children with ADHD often seem genuinely surprised when they face consequences for a decision they made only moments earlier.

• Executive Function Challenges

Stealing can also be connected to executive function difficulties. Executive functions are the brain skills that help us:

• plan ahead
• make decisions
• control impulses
• weigh consequences
• think through outcomes

Children with ADHD often have weaker executive functioning skills, making it harder to fully process questions like, “What happens next?” or, “How will this affect someone else?” or, “Is this decision worth the consequences?”

Again, this doesn't mean they don't know right from wrong. It means their brain may struggle to consistently apply that knowledge in the moment, especially when emotions or impulses are running high.

• Dopamine-Seeking Behavior

The ADHD brain is often driven by a search for stimulation. It’s looking for novelty, excitement, or maybe even risk. For some children, the act of taking something can create a sense of anticipation and excitement that temporarily boosts dopamine levels.

In fact, sometimes the thrill isn't even about the item itself. It's about the rush.

This is especially common in older children and teens who are feeling bored, under-stimulated, or constantly seeking excitement. The act of sneaking something, taking a risk, or getting away with it can create a surge of stimulation that an under-stimulated ADHD brain naturally craves.

• Emotional Dysregulation

Sometimes stealing isn't driven by impulsivity at all. Sometimes it's driven by emotions.

Children with ADHD often experience emotions more intensely than their peers and may struggle to manage those feelings effectively. Stealing can sometimes occur during moments of frustration, jealousy, anger, disappointment, or emotional overwhelm. 

For example, if a child desperately wants something and is told “no,” the discomfort of waiting can feel incredibly intense. Their brain may look for the fastest possible way to relieve that distress.

In those moments, stealing can become a shortcut to getting what they want without having to tolerate the uncomfortable feelings that come with waiting.

• Peer Pressure and Wanting to Fit In

As children get older, social pressures can become another factor. Many kids with ADHD already feel different from their peers. They may struggle socially, get in trouble more often, or feel left out.

As a result, they can sometimes be more vulnerable to peer pressure or risky behavior if they believe it will help them fit in, gain approval, or avoid rejection.

A tween or teen who would never steal on their own might make a poor decision in the presence of friends simply because they don't want to feel excluded or judged.

This is one reason why stealing behaviors can sometimes look very different in older children and teens than they do in younger kids.

How Stealing Can Look Different by Age

While stealing can happen at any age, the reasons behind the behavior often change as children get older. Understanding your child's developmental stage can help you respond in a way that is both effective and age-appropriate.

Young Children (Ages 5–9)

When younger children steal, the behavior is often more impulsive than intentional.

Many children in this age group are still developing their understanding of ownership, rules, consequences, and other people's perspectives. While they may know stealing is “wrong,” they don't always fully grasp the impact their actions have on others.

For a child with ADHD, impulsivity can make this even more challenging. They see something they want, act quickly, and only think about the consequences afterward.

The good news is that this age often presents many opportunities for teaching and skill-building. Conversations about honesty, ownership, empathy, and making things right can be incredibly effective when paired with appropriate consequences.

Tweens (Ages 10–12)

By the tween years, children generally have a much stronger understanding of right and wrong. If stealing occurs at this age, parents are often more alarmed because the child clearly knows the behavior is inappropriate.

However, ADHD-related challenges can still play a significant role. Impulsivity remains strong for many tweens, and they may still struggle with delayed gratification, emotional regulation, and thinking through consequences before acting.

This is also the age when peer influence often begins to carry more weight. A desire to fit in, impress friends, or avoid feeling left out can sometimes contribute to poor decisions.

While accountability remains important, parents should continue looking beyond the behavior itself and explore what may have driven the choice.

Teens

When stealing occurs during the teenage years, the stakes can become much higher. Consequences may involve schools, employers, law enforcement, or damaged relationships.

At the same time, teens with ADHD are still dealing with many of the same challenges we've already discussed, including impulsivity, dopamine-seeking, emotional dysregulation, and executive function difficulties.

Social pressures can also become much more significant during adolescence. Some teens steal to fit in, gain approval from peers, seek excitement, or cope with difficult emotions.

Unfortunately, stealing can also trigger a shame cycle.

A teen may feel embarrassed or guilty about what happened, which can make them defensive, secretive, or less willing to talk openly about the situation.

That's why this age group often requires a careful balance of accountability and communication.

Teens need clear consequences and expectations, but they also need parents who are willing to stay curious, keep communication open, and help them develop the skills necessary to make better decisions in the future.

What To Do If Your Child Steals

As we already mentioned, discovering that your child has stolen something can trigger a lot of emotions. While those feelings are completely understandable, how you respond in the moment can have a big impact on what your child learns from the experience.

Here are a few research-backed recommendations: 

• Stay Calm First

As difficult as it may be, try not to react from a place of anger. Many parents' first instinct is to lecture, shame, or immediately jump to worst-case conclusions. But when a child feels attacked, embarrassed, or humiliated, they often become defensive rather than reflective.

So take a deep breath. Remember that while the behavior needs to be addressed, your goal is to teach, not simply punish. A calm response will almost always lead to a more productive conversation than an emotional one.

• Address the Behavior Directly

Staying calm doesn't mean ignoring the behavior. Your child needs to understand that stealing is not acceptable. Have a direct, age-appropriate conversation about what happened.

Be clear and firm by saying something like, “Taking something that doesn't belong to you is not okay.”

Avoid minimizing the behavior, but also avoid labeling your child as a liar, thief, or bad kid.

The goal is to separate the behavior from the child. Your child made a poor choice. That doesn't mean they are a bad person.

• Focus on Accountability

One of the most important lessons a child can learn is how to take responsibility for their actions.

Whenever possible, encourage your child to make things right.

That may include:

• returning the item
• apologizing
• paying for the item
• replacing something that was taken
• making amends in another appropriate way

These natural consequences help children understand the impact of their choices while also teaching responsibility and integrity. Whenever possible, the consequence should be connected to the behavior itself rather than an unrelated punishment.

• Get Curious About the Why

Once the immediate situation has been addressed, it's important to get curious about what may have contributed to the behavior. 

Sometimes the answer is impulsivity. Sometimes it's peer pressure. Sometimes it's frustration, jealousy, boredom, or emotional overwhelm.

Understanding the “why” can help you address the underlying challenge that contributed to it.

Ask questions like:

• What were you thinking at the time?
• What made you want to take it?
• How were you feeling?
• Did someone encourage you to do it?

Keep in mind: It's common for children to deny what happened at first, especially if they feel embarrassed, scared, or worried about getting in trouble.

• Practice Skills, Not Just Punishment

Punishment alone rarely teaches the skills a child needs to make better decisions in the future. If impulsivity contributed to the stealing, your child may need help practicing impulse control. If emotional dysregulation played a role, they may need support learning how to tolerate frustration and disappointment. If peer pressure was involved, they may need help developing confidence and decision-making skills.

The goal is not just to stop the behavior today but to also help your child build the skills they need to make better choices tomorrow.

Lasting change happens when children learn how to respond differently, not simply when they're afraid of getting caught.

• Consider Natural Ways to Support Their Nervous System 

If you've been in my community for very long, you know I talk a lot about underlying stressors in the body (like gut health, nutrient deficiencies, toxic overload, and inflammation) and how working to address these stressors can often reduce ADHD symptoms.

I want to be very clear about something: Stealing is not caused by gut issues, nutrient deficiencies, inflammation, or other biological stressors.

However, the ADHD symptoms that can contribute to stealing can become much more pronounced when these stressors are not addressed.

On the flip side, when we address these stressors and, as a result, see improvements in ADHD symptoms, difficult behaviors often begin to improve as well.

This is something I've witnessed not only in my own son, but also in the more than 1,600 families we've worked with over the years. As children become more regulated, parents often notice improvements in impulse control, emotional regulation, decision-making, flexibility, and other behaviors that once felt incredibly challenging.

Parents often come to me concerned about specific behaviors like: 

• stealing
• lying
• meltdowns
• emotional outbursts
• impulsive decisions

But those behaviors are often symptoms of deeper challenges.

The behavior is what we see on the surface. The ADHD symptoms driving the behavior are what's happening underneath.

Does that mean addressing underlying stressors will automatically stop a child from stealing?

Unfortunately, no. Stealing is a behavior that still needs to be addressed directly through conversations, accountability, and teaching appropriate skills.

But when a child has better impulse control, stronger emotional regulation, and improved executive functioning, they are often much better equipped to make good decisions in the first place.

So, now you might be wondering, “How do I do this? How do I help my child have better impulse control, executive functioning, etc?” 

Join My Free ADHD Training

I'd love to invite you to join my free ADHD training, where you’ll discover what’s really driving your child’s ADHD symptoms. 

<Save your seat for this free live training here>

In this training, you’ll discover some of the most common underlying stressors driving ADHD behaviors and how to address these stressors naturally. 

What Not To Do When Your Child Steals

Now that we’ve talked about what to do when your child steals, let’s hit on a few things to avoid. 

When a child steals, it's natural to want to make sure they never do it again. Unfortunately, in an effort to stop the behavior, many well-meaning parents unintentionally respond in ways that can create more shame than growth.

• Avoid Labeling Your Child

One of the most important things you can do is separate the behavior from your child's identity. Your child may have stolen something. That does not make them a thief.

Labels can be incredibly powerful, especially for children who are already struggling with self-esteem. When a child begins to believe, “I'm a bad kid,” they're often less motivated (not more) to make better choices.

Instead of attacking your child's character, focus on the specific behavior that needs to change.

• Avoid Public Humiliation

It can be tempting to make an example out of the behavior, especially if you're feeling embarrassed yourself. But shaming a child in front of siblings, friends, extended family, or strangers rarely teaches the lesson parents hope it will. More often, it creates resentment, defensiveness, and shame.

• Avoid Assuming Bad Intentions

When emotions are high, it's easy to assume your child stole because they were being manipulative, dishonest, or intentionally defiant.

But as we've discussed throughout this article, many children with ADHD steal because of impulsivity, poor decision-making, emotional overwhelm, peer pressure, or difficulty thinking through consequences.

• Avoid Endless Lectures

Most children know they're in trouble long before the lecture begins. Repeating the same message over and over rarely increases understanding.

In fact, many kids eventually stop listening altogether. Keep conversations clear, direct, and focused on helping your child understand both the impact of their actions and how to make better choices next time.

• Avoid Punishment Without Teaching

Consequences have their place, but consequences alone don't automatically build new skills. As mentioned above in point #5 of the What To Do section, make sure you are practicing the skills they are lacking also. 

At the end of the day, the most effective approach is one that combines accountability with teaching.

When Should Parents Be Concerned about Stealing?

While occasional stealing can happen in children of all ages, especially when impulsivity is involved, there are times when parents should pay closer attention.

One isolated incident, like the child who impulsively slips a packet of football cards into their pocket at the store, is very different from a pattern of repeated stealing despite clear consequences and conversations.

Here are some clues that a parent might want to seek additional support: 

• When Stealing Becomes a Pattern

If your child continues to steal repeatedly, it's worth taking a deeper look at what's going on. Ask yourself:

• Is this happening frequently?
• Is the behavior becoming more intentional?
• Are they hiding it or becoming more secretive?
• Have previous consequences or discussions had little effect?

A repeated pattern may indicate that additional support is needed.

• When the Behavior Escalates

It's also important to pay attention to whether the behavior is becoming more serious over time. For example:

• taking larger or more valuable items
• stealing from friends or family members
• stealing money
• stealing in multiple settings

Escalating behaviors often deserve closer attention than a single impulsive incident.

• When There Is Little or No Remorse

Many children feel embarrassed, guilty, or upset after they are caught stealing. While they may not always show it immediately, most children understand that they made a poor choice.

If a child consistently shows no concern about the impact of their actions, refuses accountability, or seems completely indifferent to how others are affected, it may be worth exploring the situation further with a professional.

• When Other Behavioral Concerns Are Present

Stealing rarely happens in isolation. If you are also seeing significant concerns such as chronic lying, aggression, severe emotional dysregulation, defiance, conduct problems, or struggles at school or with peers, it may be helpful to look at the bigger picture rather than focusing solely on the stealing behavior.

If stealing has become a recurring issue, is escalating, or is causing significant problems at home, school, or in relationships, don't hesitate to seek support.

A qualified professional can help identify underlying challenges, assess whether ADHD symptoms are contributing to the behavior, and provide strategies that address both the behavior itself and the skills your child may be struggling with.

Most importantly, remember that a child who steals is not automatically destined for bigger problems later in life.

What matters most is how the behavior is addressed, what skills are taught, and whether the underlying challenges contributing to the behavior are being recognized and supported.

FAQs About ADHD and Stealing

Is stealing common in kids with ADHD?

Not all children with ADHD steal, but some ADHD symptoms can increase the likelihood of impulsive behaviors, including taking something without fully thinking through the consequences. Challenges with impulse control, executive functioning, emotional regulation, and dopamine-seeking behavior can all contribute to poor decision-making in the moment.

Does ADHD make kids more impulsive?

Yes. Impulsivity is one of the core symptoms of ADHD. Children with ADHD often have a harder time pausing, thinking through consequences, and considering long-term outcomes before acting. This can show up in many ways, including interrupting, risk-taking, emotional outbursts, and sometimes stealing.

How should I discipline my child for stealing?

The most effective approach combines accountability with teaching. Your child should understand that stealing is not acceptable and should make amends whenever possible, such as returning the item or apologizing. At the same time, it's important to help them build skills like impulse control, decision-making, and emotional regulation rather than relying solely on punishment.

Should I be worried if my child steals once?

A single incident does not automatically mean there is a serious problem. Many children, especially younger children and those with ADHD, make impulsive choices that they later regret. What matters most is how the behavior is addressed, whether your child learns from the experience, and whether it becomes a recurring pattern.

Can reducing ADHD symptoms improve impulsive behaviors?

In many cases, yes. While reducing ADHD symptoms won't automatically eliminate stealing, parents often notice improvements in impulse control, emotional regulation, decision-making, and frustration tolerance as symptoms become better managed. When children are more regulated, they are often better equipped to make thoughtful choices and resist impulsive urges. 

Resources: 

Alejo EG, Valencia-Piedrahita M, Cuartas-Arias JM. Executive Functions and Juvenile Delinquency: A Comparative Analysis of Institutionalized Adolescents in Colombia. Int J Psychol Res (Medellin). 2025;18(1):6-20. Published 2025 Jun 17. doi:10.21500/20112084.7709

Chachar AS, Shaikh MY. Decision-making and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: neuroeconomic perspective. Front Neurosci. 2024;18:1339825. Published 2024 Oct 23. doi:10.3389/fnins.2024.1339825

Hoza B. Peer functioning in children with ADHD. Ambul Pediatr. 2007 Jan-Feb;7(1 Suppl):101-6. doi: 10.1016/j.ambp.2006.04.011. PMID: 17261489; PMCID: PMC2572031.

Lewis N, Lagopoulos J, Villani A. Gut-Brain Inflammatory Pathways in Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: The Role and Therapeutic Potential of Diet. Metabolites. 2025;15(5):335. Published 2025 May 19. doi:10.3390/metabo15050335

Miller DJ, Derefinko KJ, Lynam DR, Milich R, Fillmore MT. Impulsivity and Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder: Subtype Classification Using the UPPS Impulsive Behavior Scale. J Psychopathol Behav Assess. 2010 Sep;32(3):323-332. doi: 10.1007/s10862-009-9155-z. PMID: 21765593; PMCID: PMC3137261.

Paulo A. Graziano, Garcia, Alexis. Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and children's emotion dysregulation: A meta-analysis, Clinical Psychology Review, Volume 46, 2016, Pages 106-123, ISSN 0272-7358, https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2016.04.011.

Sasaki Y, Yagihashi T, Kasahara M, Usami M, Kono T, Okada T. Clinical implications of a history of stealing on psychiatric disorders in children and adolescents. PLoS One. 2020 Aug 27;15(8):e0237906. doi: 10.1371/journal.pone.0237906. PMID: 32853286; PMCID: PMC7451554.

van Stralen, J. Emotional dysregulation in children with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. ADHD Atten Def Hyp Disord 8, 175–187 (2016). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12402-016-0199-0

Winstanley, Catharine, Eagle, Dawn, Robbins, Trevor. Behavioral models of impulsivity in relation to ADHD: Translation between clinical and preclinical studies. Clin Psychol Rev. 2006  Aug;26(4):379–395. doi: 10.1016/j.cpr.2006.01.001