On this week’s edition of Soaring Child, we’re joined by child psychologist Lori Long and certified speech language pathologist Katie Severson. They were instrumental in creating the Childhood Collective, designed to empower parents by teaching science-backed strategies to raise confident children with ADHD.
One approach is to look at the ABCs of behavior — A being antecedent, B being behavior and C being consequences. The antecedent is looking at what occurs before the behavior that might trigger it. The consequence is what happens after the child engages in the behavior and how it serves them. For example, lying could be an avoidance behavior. It’s important to ask kids what’s bothering them and unpack the problem so you can solve it by changing up the antecedents.
Communication is essential in changing behavior, including asking questions like, “What’s so hard about this?” or “What emotions were you feeling when I asked you to do this?” Instead of punishing your child for a behavior, ask yourself what your child’s need is and what they are communicating to you. The goal is to teach a more desirable behavior to get those needs met.
It’s also important to set up routines and really connect with your child by leaning into their interests and helping to build skills, especially their unique executive functioning skills.
Punishment will give you the quickest fix, but it doesn’t teach any new skills, so it won’t help kids in the long run. Teaching new behaviors takes time, but it can be done by using positive language, giving positive feedback, and building them up in a positive way. That’s how to make long-term changes in the brain.
