28 - ADHD Parenting - More on Tips/Tools with Ashley Gobeil

28 – ADHD Parenting – More on Tips/Tools with Ashley Gobeil

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Tips to Help You NOT Blame Your Child with ADHD

On this week’s episode of Soaring Child, Ashley Gobeil shares specific tools to help kids with ADHD.

When an ADHD child is reacting to a situation emotionally, their brain has a “flipped lid” and the upstairs and downstairs parts of the brain aren’t working together. One way to deal with it is to name the emotion (name it to tame it) to validate the child’s feelings until they can calm down so the two parts of the brain come together again. Try to ride the wave of emotion with your child and maintain relational safety without judgment. Then your child will be able to access their problem-solving, logical side.

Another strategy is “connection before correction.” Use relational connection first to change behavior before trying to correct the behavior and deliver consequences. Do it with a level of kindness and empathy while holding firm to your parenting boundaries.

These strategies require practice and consistency to rewire both the parent’s and child’s brain over time, but they are effective tools to keep in your ADHD toolkit to support your child’s nervous system.

Show Notes

Key Takeaways:

[4:04] How ADHD kids get a flipped lid

[6:28] Validating your child’s emotions

[14:20] Using connection before correction to change behavior

[17:58] How to avoid the reactive parenting brain

[21:36] How to reconnect and repair after a rupture

[24:40] What to do if there are no natural consequences around a behavior

[29:35] Why consistency is important

Memorable Quotes:

“It doesn’t really matter if you don’t get to the root of what is driving bad behavior. It’s just showing them that you see it.”

“I try to step away from punishment and consequences because we know that it won’t land. When the upstairs brain is gone, the logic’s gone.”

“It’s important as parents to become really self-aware of what our triggers are.”

“What does repair look like? It’s not just saying sorry; it’s much more about connecting and having a calm conversation.”

“Consequences and punishments have very short-lived shelf lives. They often don’t work sustainably in terms of regulation and behavioral change.”

How to connect with Ashley Gobeil:

Jumpstart for Parenting: https://adhdthrivemethod.com/adhd-thrive-jump-start-parenting-4-adhd

Guest Resources:

A highly experienced therapist with over 15 years experience, Ashley has a Bachelors Degree in Psychology, a Masters in Social Health & Counselling and a Masters of Social Work Qualifying. She has also completed a range of certifications on family therapy, developmental trauma, attachment theory, and more. Ashley works in a variety of contexts including childcare, schools, child and adolescent mental health, domestic and family violence, family divorce, and childhood trauma. She has specific experience with children who have been given the diagnoses of ADHD, ODD and learning difficulties. She also shares her knowledge with other professionals in the sector by running a variety of educational training programs.

Dana Kay Resources:

Website – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/

Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/adhdthriveinstitute

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/

YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute

LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/company/74302454/

Pinterest – https://www.pinterest.com/adhdthriveinstitute/

Tiktok – https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute

International Best Selling Book, Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/

Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass – https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl

ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd

ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/