Parenting a child with ADHD can be really difficult. 

That’s because ADHD affects various aspects of behavior, emotional regulation, and the ability to follow routines, which can complicate typical parenting strategies. Kids with ADHD have increased energy levels, experience impulsive behavior, often struggle to complete even the most basic of tasks, and even experience emotions more intensely, leading many parents to feel like they are walking on eggshells in their own homes. 

Plus, there are social challenges because kids with ADHD don’t always pick up on social cues or wait their turn in conversations. Friendships can be hard to navigate, as well as relationships with siblings. 

ADHD does not only affect the individual with the disorder. It actually affects everyone who is close to the individual: parents, siblings, friends, etc. 

In this article, we’re going to dive deep into ADHD and specifically how to best parent a child with ADHD. 

Keep reading to discover how ADHD affects both the child and the family, the 5 C’s of effective ADHD parenting, how to discipline a child with ADHD, various parenting styles and how they affect kids with ADHD, and more. This is your one-stop-shop for all things parenting ADHD.

Understanding ADHD

Understanding ADHD is the first step towards tailored care. It’s important for parents because it shapes the way we communicate, discipline, and support our children. Because of this, it’s also the best place to start. 

ADHD (or Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is characterized by a variety of symptoms, some of which are well-known, while others may be lesser known but equally significant. 

Here’s a comprehensive list of common ADHD symptoms:

Inattention:

• Difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play
• Frequently makes careless mistakes in schoolwork or other activities
• Often seems to not listen when spoken to directly
• Struggles to follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork or chores
• Difficulty organizing tasks and activities
• Avoids or dislikes tasks that require sustained mental effort
• Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g., school materials)
• Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli
• Forgetful in daily activities

Hyperactivity and Impulsivity:

• Fidgets with or taps hands or feet, or squirms in seat
• Leaves seat in situations when remaining seated is expected
• Often runs about or climbs in situations where it is inappropriate
• Unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly
• Is “on the go” as if driven by a motor
• Talks excessively
• Blurts out an answer before a question has been completed
• Difficulty waiting their turn
• Interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations or games)

Emotional Dysregulation:

• Intense emotional reactions to everyday situations
• Frequent mood swings
• Problems dealing with stress and frustration
• Quick to anger or tears when criticized or facing setbacks

Time Management Issues:

• Poor sense of time, frequently late or misjudging the time needed for tasks
• Tendency to procrastinate
• Difficulty prioritizing tasks, leading to poor task completion

Lesser-Known Cognitive Symptoms:

• Difficulty following conversations or complex instructions
• Trouble shifting focus from one task to another
• Memory problems, particularly with working memory and recalling past events
• Challenges in processing information as quickly and accurately as others

Understanding these symptoms can help parents and educators develop more effective strategies to support children with ADHD.

Common Misconceptions about ADHD

Unfortunately, there are a lot of myths and misconceptions about ADHD that have been circulating for years. 

These misconceptions can muddy the waters and make navigating ADHD even more challenging.

Here are 10 of the most common myths we hear about ADHD:

1️⃣ Diet Changes Don’t Affect ADHD

TRUTH: Studies show that what we eat can dramatically affect ADHD symptoms. 

2️⃣ Exercise Is Just a Distraction

TRUTH: Physical activities, especially those that require focus like martial arts or dance, can improve attention span and emotional regulation.

3️⃣ Children with ADHD Are Just Lazy

TRUTH: Many people with ADHD are highly intelligent and creative but struggle with executive functions, which makes traditional learning environments challenging.

4️⃣ ADHD Affects Only Boys

TRUTH: While ADHD is diagnosed more frequently in boys, it affects both genders. 

5️⃣ ADHD Will Be Outgrown

TRUTH: While some symptoms may lessen with age, or individuals might learn how to cope, most carry ADHD characteristics into adulthood.

6️⃣ Medication Is the Only Treatment for ADHD

TRUTH: Medication is not the only route. Behavioral therapy, lifestyle changes, and complementary therapies can also be beneficial.

7️⃣ ADHD Isn’t a Real Medical Condition

TRUTH: ADHD is a well-researched, medically recognized condition that has been documented in medical literature for over 100 years.

8️⃣ People with ADHD Can’t Focus on Anything

TRUTH: They can focus, but often on a narrow range of tasks that interest them. This is sometimes referred to as “hyperfocus.”

9️⃣ ADHD Is Only a Problem in the Classroom

TRUTH: ADHD impacts all areas of life, from social interactions to home life and even long-term career prospects.

And, my personal favorite  and also the one I want or really focus on for this article…

🔟 ADHD Is a Result of Bad Parenting

TRUTH: ADHD is a neurological disorder with complex genetic and environmental factors involved.

When my son was really struggling with his ADHD symptoms, for years, I blamed myself. 

I thought things like…

If only I was a better parent, then my son wouldn’t have these problems. If I was just more consistent in my discipline. If I was just more calm. 

And the list goes on. 

I mistakenly assumed that I caused his ADHD by my shortcomings as a parent. 

Here’s the truth. 

Inconsistent consequences do NOT cause ADHD. 

ADHD is NOT the result of a loving parent’s failures. 

It is caused by brain differences, not imperfect parenting. 

Many parents of children with ADHD have tried every parenting strategy the “experts” suggest, and often find that nothing works.

Our kids don’t struggle because of a lack of parenting effort on our part. They struggle because their brain functions differently. 

But, just because parenting is NOT the cause of ADHD does not mean we are off the hook completely! 

We as parents can still make a huge impact on our children with ADHD. 

I’ve seen it over and over again…When parents implement natural strategies to reduce inflammation in their childrens’ bodies and when they implement ADHD-specific parenting strategies, they start to see BIG changes in their children. 

This mom, for instance, was able to work with her child’s doctor to get  her son completely off of ADHD medications! 

These families have seen huge improvements in their children using natural strategies alone. 

When parents make changes to the way they parent – and when they use other natural strategies to reduce inflammation in their childrens’ bodies (like, for instance, the strategies I teach in my Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass) – they see major improvements! 

So, without further ado, here are the 5 C’s of ADHD-Parenting.

The 5 C’s of ADHD Parenting

1 – Consistency 

Creating a consistent and structured environment is crucial for children with ADHD. It helps them understand what to expect each day, reducing anxiety and improving behavior. Regular routines for meals, homework, playtime, and bedtime can significantly aid in managing ADHD symptoms. 

Tips for Maintaining Consistency:

• Use visual schedules or charts to outline daily routines.
• Set clear and consistent rules and expectations.
• Ensure routines are predictable but flexible enough to accommodate necessary changes without causing distress.

2- Compassion

Children with ADHD often experience emotions more intensely. Recognizing this emotional sensitivity is vital in providing the support they need to navigate their feelings effectively.

Tips for Showing Empathy and Support: 

• Listen actively to your child’s concerns without judgment.
• Validate their feelings, even if their reaction seems disproportionate to the situation.
• Teach them coping strategies like deep breathing or taking a break when overwhelmed.

3 – Communication

Clear and positive communication is key to supporting your child with ADHD. It helps them understand expectations and reinforces your relationship.

Tips to Encourage Open Dialogue: 

• Use clear, concise, and specific language when speaking with your child.
• Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to express their thoughts and feelings.
• Provide feedback that is constructive and encouraging, avoiding negative criticisms.
  

4 – Collaboration

Building a collaborative relationship with educators and healthcare providers ensures a consistent approach across all environments, which is beneficial for children with ADHD.

Tips for Building a Support Network:

• Maintain regular communication with teachers and caregivers to monitor progress and share strategies that work.
• Join parent support groups to connect with others facing similar challenges. I have a free ADHD parent support group on Facebook that I created specifically for parents just like you – parents who are seeking support as they raise their kids with ADHD! Join here!

5 – Celebration

Acknowledging and celebrating every small success can boost your child’s self-esteem and motivation.

Tips for Positive Reinforcement: 

• Use rewards and incentives for positive behavior and meeting goals.
• Praise specific actions to reinforce good behavior, such as “I really liked how you shared with your friend today.”

By integrating these 5 C’s—consistency, compassion, effective communication, collaboration, and celebration—parents can create a nurturing environment that supports their child’s development. 

Now, let’s talk about parenting styles. 

What Parenting Style is Best for ADHD Kids?

When it comes to managing children with ADHD, the way in which we parent can make a big difference in our kids’ behavior. But…which parenting style is the most effective? 

There are 4 basic parenting styles: 

1 – Authoritarian: 

This style is high in demands but low in responsiveness. Authoritarian parenting is too rigid for children with ADHD, as it does not provide the emotional support or flexibility they need to manage their symptoms effectively.

2 – Permissive: 

High in responsiveness but low in demands, permissive parenting offers emotional support but lacks the structure children with ADHD require, often leading to behavioral issues.

3- Uninvolved: 

Low in both demands and responsiveness, uninvolved parenting provides neither the structure nor the support needed by children with ADHD, resulting in poor outcomes across various aspects of development.

4 – Authoritative: 

Authoritative parenting is characterized by high responsiveness and high demands. Parents set clear rules and guidelines but also ensure they listen to their children’s perspectives. 

This approach helps children with ADHD by providing the structure they need while also supporting their emotional development. Benefits include better social skills, improved self-esteem, and enhanced problem-solving capabilities. Children feel secure yet independent, knowing they have supportive guidance.

While the authoritative style is generally effective, it’s important to adapt your approach to fit your child’s unique needs. Some children may need more guidance and direct supervision, while others might benefit from additional emotional support and encouragement.

Authoritative parenting style is often recommended by experts due to its balanced approach. This style combines clear guidelines and expectations with warmth and responsiveness, creating an environment that is both structured and nurturing.

Experts like Dr. Russell Barkley, a clinical psychologist and leading authority on ADHD, emphasize the need for consistent rules and compassionate understanding. This encourages a supportive relationship where children know what is expected of them but also feel free to express themselves. 

So with all of this in mind, what is the best way to discipline a child? 

How to Discipline a Child with ADHD

Disciplining a child with ADHD requires a tailored approach that distinguishes between discipline and punishment and focuses on positive strategies to guide behavior. 

Discipline is about teaching and guiding children towards better behaviors, aiming to foster understanding and learning. It is constructive and nurturing, focusing on long-term goals. 

Punishment, on the other hand, often involves retribution, is more about enforcing immediate order, and can be harmful and discouraging, especially for children with ADHD who may not fully understand the consequences of their actions.

Here are few positive discipline strategies: 

Positive Discipline Strategies: 

1. Use Positive Reinforcement: Focus on rewarding good behavior more than punishing bad behavior. This could involve praise, a reward system, or privileges when they display positive behavior.
2. Create a Structured Environment: Children with ADHD thrive in environments where routines are clearly defined. Establishing a predictable routine helps them understand what’s expected and reduces anxiety.
3. Break Tasks into Manageable Pieces: Large tasks can overwhelm children with ADHD. Breaking tasks down into smaller, manageable steps can help them complete each part successfully and reduce resistance.
4. Set Clear Expectations and Boundaries: When setting rules and expectations, be specific and clear. Use simple language and repeat instructions if necessary to ensure understanding.
5. Be Consistent: Apply rules and consequences consistently. This consistency helps children with ADHD understand the cause and effect of their behaviors, which is crucial for their learning and development.
6. Stay Calm: During meltdowns or when impulsive behavior occurs, remain calm and composed. Your calmness can help de-escalate the situation. Remember, children often need to borrow our nervous systems. 
7. Utilize Calm Down Spaces: Rather than “time outs,” consider using calm down spaces. A “calm down space” is a designated area designed to provide a quiet and comforting environment where children (or even adults) can go to regulate their emotions and regain control when they feel overwhelmed, upset, or overstimulated. It’s not a punishment but instead a place where kids can go to work through their emotions. 
8. Teach Coping Skills: Help your child develop strategies to manage their emotions and impulses. This could be through deep breathing, counting to ten, or using words to express feelings.

Avoiding Common Disciplinary Mistakes: 

Along with putting the above strategies into place, you also want to avoid the following disciplinary mistakes. 

1. Don’t Rely Solely on Verbal Commands: Children with ADHD often have processing delays. Supplement your words with visual aids or demonstrations.
2. Avoid Over-Punishing: Focus on what your child can learn from the situation rather than using punitive measures that might exacerbate feelings of inadequacy or frustration.
3. Don’t Assume Noncompliance is Willful: Often, children with ADHD may not comply because they are distracted, forgot what was asked of them, or didn’t understand the instructions. Always assess the reason behind the behavior before responding.

By implementing these strategies, parents can discipline their child with ADHD in a way that is supportive and effective, fostering a relationship based on understanding and mutual respect.

Parenting children with ADHD – even when implementing all of the strategies inside this article – can still be challenging. 

That’s why our team partnered with a Child and Family Therapist, Ashley Gobeil, to create an affordable online program specifically designed to help YOU parent your child with ADHD. 

This easy to follow, practical, relevant and accessible parenting program is specific to kids with ADHD and will boost your parenting confidence and help you reclaim your parenting power!

Click here to learn more! 

Remember, you are not alone in this journey. It can definitely be challenging to raise a child with ADHD, but things can improve, and you can develop new ways of parenting that can better support your child. 

In this article, we looked at the 5 C’s of ADHD-parenting: Consistency, Compassion, Communication, Collaboration, and Celebration. We also looked at the 4 parenting styles and at specific positive discipline strategies. 

You’ve got this, and we’re here to help you along the way. 

If you haven’t yet watched my free ADHD Masterclass, check that out here. It will provide you with additional strategies you can put into place TODAY to start reducing those ADHD symptoms naturally.